All About College Orientation: Part 5 of 5

This is it! The final segment in our All About College Orientation series. Congratulations, you are in the home stretch!

Before you leave campus and head back home, there are a few other details to be mindful of prior to jumping to the car.

1. SECURE A CONTACT NAME AND PHONE NUMBER
   Find a friend! Seriously, find someone who will interface with your student during their first semester….preferably an adult or someone in an authoritative position, like the R.A. (resident adviser). IF your student is ill or if there is an emergency at home, you may not be able to reach your student immediately. (Sometimes, they attend classes :)) Having a second point of contact, other than your student, is really important. Your contact could be your roommate’s parent/guardian, the roommate, another parent of a child on your student’s hall, etc. If the above doesn’t work, stop by and meet their Academic Adviser, etc. Whether you live 5 miles from their college or they are across the country, this advice is sound!
   
   
2. FIND A MEDICAL WALK IN CLINIC NEAR CAMPUS
   Dorms are viral incubators. Strep throat can wipe out a total floor in a dorm faster than you can say Game Day Weekend. Colleges have wonderful medical services, but students DO seem to become ill on the weekends which may be outside of the infirmary’s operational hours. We devoted an entire article on Student Health Services because it is soooo important. Drive your student by the walk in clinic so they know exactly where it is in relation to their dorm or apartment. If they are familiar with the location, they will be more inclined to use it once you are gone.
3. DECIDE WHEN YOU WILL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN AFTER CLASSES START
   While you are on campus and in neutral territory (ahem…not at home), go ahead and plan when you and your student will reunite once classes begin. Why do this now? Pre-planning shows your student that 1) You care 2) You have a plan. This provides your student with confidence on the front end. Planning the date in advance alleviates soooo much stress/friction on drop off day! Let’s take it a few steps further…..Scenario 1
   Your student is staying in state (or maybe even in town) within 4 hours driving distance:
   It is very important that your son or daughter fully “launches” at college during that first year. This will not happen if they are driving home each weekend! Yes, weekends can be quiet. EVERYONE will seem to be going home. But it is during the quiet times that your child will learn to navigate this thing called life on their own and become resourceful. Coming home each weekend to avoid growth is easy. Staying is harder, but far more rewarding. Self sufficiency is golden. So, let your son or daughter know on the front end that obligations at home will take a back seat to their collegiate growth the first month. Avoid the urge to run over to campus to meet them for lunch. Avoid asking them if they want to come over for Friday night pizza and Netflix. Or Sunday morning church. (They can find a church near campus and grow spiritually as adults!) Maybe they played on a club soccer team and want to stay involved on the weekends. Whatever the reason, staying on campus the first month should be a priority. They are no longer in high school; learning to live on campus is critical. Since distance is not an issue, homecomings may be more frequent than that of their out-of-state counter parts. But for the first month, they need to be on their own. I am not a counselor or psychologist. This advice is not to be considered professional advice. But, as a mom of a college student, I have seen both sides of the coin. Give your son or daughter the priceless gift of self-sufficiency! This cannot be given….at home. Set a date and plan accordingly.Scenario 2
   If your son or daughter will be more than 4 hours away or across the country:
   Ok, so coming home as an out of state student takes some planning. This gives mom & dad an excellent opportunity to set up the homecoming return date in advance. Your son or daughter will feel a little bit of relief when the homesickness sets in just knowing that in a few weeks their flight departs for their hometown. Go ahead and plan to bring them home between August and Thanksgiving once if you are fiscally able. Or, go see them once during this time. If finances are tight (after all, you have a child attending an out of state college!), encourage them to accept invitations home from their friends. The local kids will be going home, and oftentimes they enjoy bringing their new college friends home with them. This is a win-win for your son or daughter as they will experience a new city and have the comforts of home. Sidenote: Safety first. Find out who the family is and where they live. Get an address and stay in contact with your child!

   Real Life: Here’s what we did:
   Our daughter, an only child, went out-of-state. Like, far away where she knew not one single soul. THAT far. 🙂 During her college orientation, we made plans to fly her home 7 weeks into the semester….late September. While she experienced some homesickness, she sucked it up and met new friends. Her weekend home was short but refreshing for her and for us! She flew home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. NOTE: Book the airline tickets for holidays the summer before for the best prices! She has told us on many, many occasions that those quiet weekends were when she made some of her best friends – the out-of-state kids were all there!
   Second semester, she only came home once from January until May. In the interim,
   she was invited to “go home” with a friend who lived in Cincinnati. She had a wonderful time and her friend’s parents were so very hospitable.

4. BONUS SECTION: Do they come home when they are sick????
   When our children are sick, we want to make them better. That includes making chicken soup, running to the pharmacy, etc. Even when they are 18 years old. Our mama instincts just kick in no matter how old they are when they are sick.Your son or daughter’s campus  comes complete with an infirmary…otherwise known in as Student Health Services. To find out what you need to know about Student Health Services, click here.It is your judgement call and the nature of the illness that will effect the decision to go take care of them. If you are torn, ask to speak to a nurse at Student Health Services after you child has been seen by their staff. Get their assessment as to your student’s situation. And, make sure the illness is not a cover up for them to just come home because of homesickness!Ok, so that’s it in a nutsell!If you want to start from the beginning of the series, you can do that here.

And, make sure you head over to Parent’s Weekend tips – PW will be here before you know it! 🙂